• Understanding Your Past Without Letting It Define You


    Why are so many people afraid of their past? On the other hand, some people are obsessed with it and miserable in the present. Your past, no matter your age, is extremely important. It shapes you, teaches you, and strengthens you. Your past can also carry trauma that came from many places; your childhood, past relationships, or mental health struggles, and facing it can be scary and daunting.

    Others want desperately to go back to their past, or “the good old days” because they are unhappy with their life now. Regardless of the nature of your past, it’s very easy to let it affect your identity. Being confident in your identity means understanding your past, but not letting yourself become obsessed or controlled by it. Let me show you just how to do that!


    Everyone has been hurt sometime or another. You might have had a rough childhood, or a traumatic relationship that eroded your confidence in your identity. Often, you try to avoid the painful parts of your past, and escape them by distancing yourself from the things that trigger those memories. The problem with that is obvious; if you shut out your past, you leave a hole in your identity and history. I know trauma can seem debilitating, and facing the painful parts of your past can be so scary. If you’re harboring anger or resentment towards something in your past, all you’re doing is hurting yourself and putting a damper on your life.

    Some people go to the other end of the spectrum and use their pasts to label themselves. If you’ve been through trauma, you might have clung to a label simply because it’s an easy way to describe yourself. Labels are easy; they explain a lot of different problems and provide you with a false sense of security. So why can labels be harmful? If you’re already struggling with having confidence in your identity, describing yourself with things like “anxiety disorder”, “bipolar”, or “ADHD” only discourage you further. Sure, you might be temporarily confident in these labels, but they are not your identity.

    If you have trauma in your past that is attached to your identity, first of all, nothing is wrong with you! You are not broken, or damaged, and you don’t need to be fixed. You are already worthy, your mind and emotions just need to be shown how to release this trauma. Dealing with trauma is so important if you are trying to find confidence in your identity. Schedule a free Discovery Call with me today, and let me help you release this trauma and continue to discover confidence in your true identity.


    “Oh, to go back to the good old days!” I’m sure you’ve heard this said many times, and you may have said it yourself. It’s easy to romanticize the times or people in your past that you miss. If you dwell on your past too much, it makes sense that the present would seem less ideal. While you can appreciate the good parts of your past, your identity doesn’t come from it. If you let yourself become preoccupied with the past you, the person you are right now might be disappointing. Being confident in your identity allows you to be okay with who you are in this moment. After all, what time do we have guaranteed but this moment? You can improve yourself and still be confident in your identity, but if your goal in changing yourself is to make yourself happy, you will never succeed. Your identity is not in the past-you, or the future-you, but the “you” right now that God made you to be.


    We all have things in our past that we are ashamed of. From small mistakes to big regrets, I’m sure we would all change something in our past. Here’s the good news, you don’t have to dwell on past mistakes. Your identity and worth is not related to your mistakes. If you’re a believer, God says you are a “new creation”! The old you is gone, and the new you has come. Understanding your past will help you learn from your mistakes and grow into a more complete person, but your identity does not come from it.

    Your past has been redeemed by Jesus, and you don’t have to be guilty of it. Understanding that your identity is in God’s love for you erases all need to atone, relive, or label your past, and allows you to live confidently and fully!