A Wife that Faces Tomorrow with a Smile😊
BOSS LADY DEFINED
Hello, my fellow friends! We find ourselves back together after a month of talking through, celebrating, and encouraging the husband. Husbands, how are you feeling? I hope you feel excited because this month is all about the wives! Wives, there are many ways scripture addresses the wife. We find that scripture gives us a guideline for what this role should look like and (you already guessed it) it looks different from what our world expects. So as always, get comfy, grab your coffee… Let’s get to it!
A GOOD AND PERFECT GOD
As we get started, it’s important to remind ourselves that Scripture makes a clear distinction between those who follow the Lord and those who do not. Those who have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior are not only set apart but are His treasured possession (Deuteronomy 7:6). In fact, we are so loved by God that He would allow His only son to be a sacrifice for us, thus making us holy and blameless before God without a single fault (Colossians 1:22). Because of this, the Lord tells us time and time again that we are in the world but not OF the world.
When Jesus prayed to the Father on our behalf in the book of John, He uses no uncertain terms in reminding us that the world HATES His followers. Yes, in all capital letters, HATES. In Matthew 5:10-12, we are given both a grave warning of this world and a great encouragement from Heaven, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
Unfortunately for the believer, we are not called to an easy walk in this world. We were told directly from Jesus that we would suffer for His name’s sake (Matthew 10:22). I mention these things because we must remember; most of the time, His word will be in direct contrast to our culture. When it comes to marriage, a gift so precious given by God, we must be strong and firm in our biblical foundation.
The Lord has set standards and made claims regarding what marriage must look like. He both designed marriage and loves marriage because it’s His earthly example of His love for His bride: the Church, His beloved. God is good, His ways are perfect, and His plans are never evil. And so, as we consider marriage and the distinct calling of husband and wife, it’s important to remember these 2 truths:
- The world is usually in opposition to His word
- Everything He does and calls us to is good.
That’s a promise for you and me! With these truths, let’s discuss the awesome life of the Christian wife.
WHAT’S A WIFE CALLED TO DO, ANYWAY?
Last newsletter we discussed the incredible calling of a husband. A Christian husband is to love sacrificially, laying all down for his wife. This means loving your wife just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). Wow! I know ladies, we did a happy dance and raised the roof at these truths!
I told you! His word is good, and His plans are always good. But are his plans still good when it comes to the role of the wife? What’s a wife called to do, anyway? The best and only place to find the answers we’re looking for is in scripture itself. Let’s read some together.
THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN
” A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Adorn her life with praises! “
The call of the Christian woman is beautifully depicted in Proverbs 31. This woman is amazing, living her calling according to scripture and demonstrating it in her home. Notice that this woman does many things and does them well. Though these examples are from a different time, we find similarities between her biblical-timed life and our current life.
The Proverbs 31 woman is financially wise, diligent, merciful, and caring for the needs of others. She’s creative and not afraid, her children respect her, and her husband is proud of her. She values her role as wife, understanding that her first priority is her home. Furthermore, she doesn’t just understand but finds JOY in that calling. This is a woman who knows her worth and value and is radiant because of it.
If you listen closely, you can hear the world scoffing at us. Where the Proverbs 31 woman is valued in scripture, the world calls her crazy. Brainwashed maybe, or delusional. Unfortunately, there is little tolerance for the woman who longs to serve and love her family, accepting the biblical role.
Now let me be clear. Scripture is not saying we must never work outside of the home and only cook, clean, and raise the kids. In fact, if you’ll notice in the scripture above, this Proverbs 31 woman sold clothes and ran a successful business. Not only that, but she also scouted and bought a whole field, had additional money left over from her savings, and planted a garden! This woman gives a new meaning to the term girl boss.
What scripture wants us to grasp is this: the Proverbs 31 woman prioritizes her home first and makes sure all things are cared for and in order. Society has created humongous lists of things we’re expected to do and be as women. Society tells us to work excessively, take care of our home, parent, go to church, mingle with others, have side hustles, always look amazing and “never let them see you cry.” No wonder so many women are burnt out, confused, hurting, and feeling all alone in this world.
The wife role should not be a burden. Laborious, yes, but never a burden. In contrast to the world’s expectations, God’s will for us is doable with Him and His ways should not overwhelm us because His burden is light. Remember, God is good, His ways are perfect, and His plans are never evil.
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM: SUBMISSION & RESPECT
As we continue, we must address the elephants in the room: submission and respect. Those two words have gained a bad rap in our world. There is no avoiding them though, not for the Christian wife. So, let’s begin with submission!
I’m sure your brain has already created a terrible scenario in which an oppressed woman is told to make a sandwich (too stereotypical?) or is always quiet in the presence of men. Did you scowl, just a little, at the implications submission suggests? I get it. But what if I told you a life-changing, narrative-altering, and rebellious truth? What if I told you that… biblical submission is not intended to suppress, but to set free?
Remember, for a Christian husband to fulfill his role in marriage, he must die to himself daily. In laying down his life for his wife, he sacrifices and toils, all for her wellbeing and the wellbeing of his family. He loves her unconditionally as Jesus Christ loves the church, honoring and valuing her throughout. If the role of the husband is to be a mirror image of Jesus, and we place our trust in Jesus, shouldn’t we also place our trust in our husbands?
When we look at it from this angle, it begins to come together. We, the church, are called to submit to Christ in everything. And we do this willingly and joyously because we know that He loves and cares for us, that His desire is for us. In the same way, the parallel of a wife submitting everything to her husband should no longer be daunting. We know what kind of behavior and character the husband has been called to imitate, that of Christ.
We’re not talking about the roles of dictator and servant. We’re talking about the roles of loved and beloved. The truth is, Jesus’s work and person encompass both roles of husband and wife, elevating and valuing both as co-bearers of the image of God. Jesus Christ, the son of God but also fully God, humbled himself to take on the most submissive role, one of a servant who dies in His master’s service. Additionally, His willingness to accept this role was fully voluntary, a gift to His Father. Likewise, our submission is a gift to our husbands.
When we view our roles through the eyes of Jesus, the toxicity of these terms slips away, and we see the true glory. Both men and women get to play the role of Jesus in their marriage. Those roles are Jesus in his sacrificial authority, and Jesus in his sacrificial submission.
Similarly, the idea of respect aligns. When there is trust, respect easily follows. A Christian wife can respect her husband because she knows that he is a leader, capable of taking care of his family spiritually, mentally, and physically. This is displayed by trusting him, encouraging him, supporting him, and honoring him at his word. And above all, admiring and loving him unconditionally, just like Jesus.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
When we realign ourselves with scripture, we see why both roles are critical for a healthy marriage. Both roles must be functioning in a healthy way to thrive. Unfortunately for us, sin crept in at the dawn of time, making the biblical design a lot harder to follow. We are all human, imperfect and weak in our own strength. However, we have hope knowing that through our weakness, His strength is made perfect (2 Corinthians 12). His grace is sufficient for us, and we can allow the Lord to work through the roles of husband and wife.
If you are overburdened, you may have added too much of your own will to your life and now feel pressed to meet those demands. Are there areas in your life where you feel stressed out, overworked, and burnt out? If so, I encourage you to take them to the Lord. Pray and ask for His guidance.
Here are a few questions to help you get started:
- Are there areas in my marriage that I’ve let the world guide me instead of scripture?
- In which ways do I submit and respect my husband?
- Where are the areas that I need to submit and respect my husband more?
- What standards have I set for myself, and do they align with the Proverbs 31 woman?
- Do I prioritize my home over all other demands of life?
- How has the world influenced my perception of marriage, and how has a biblical foundation changed that?
Let’s ponder these things this month through prayer and application. In His strength, we will overcome the world and step into the confident shoes of the beautiful, virtuous, Proverbs 31 woman.
As always, if you need to talk with me, I’m just a message away. If things are not as they should be in your marriage and you need help navigating murky waters, don’t wait. Reach out to me. With much love, until next time!
My curious mind wants to know.. does this type of girl come in Poodle? #askingforafriend
I want to thank you for being a part of my life and for your trust in my work.
Luz Marina Lopez, LMHC
Leon Lopez, Smile Expert